yesterday was a good day. but all the while it was tempered by the knowledge of what would come next. sure enough today has been one long slide inti misery.
took phil and param to cosford for the cold war exhibition today. not really my thing but it would have been interesting enough im sure if my depression hadn't descended so heavily. thanks to the kindness and understanding of both phil and param ive made it this far tonight.
But now im here on my own, once again that sense of utter aloneness is overwhelming me and im coming apart at the seams again. want to curl up and die. really hope i die in my sleep. admitedly, the exceptionally tight time frame for that these days considering how little sleep i get makes it a hugely unlikely prospect. but i can hope. just for it all to be over with.
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