for the first time i am completely unable to sleep at all. maybe its because i had to bottle things up so much last night. even now i still feel sick to my stomach. ok im not going to whinge and whine tonight. so i feel shit big deal. thats old news.
been lying in bed thinking about old girlfriends. all its really achieved is to remind me how much ive lost, how stupid ive been cutting myself off from the world for so long. trying and succeeding to not hurt myself at them moment. well, not hurting myself physically anyway. tonight ive had to promise someone not to do anything stupid. i guess that means no ginger wig and big clown shoes for me tonight.
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