The hardest part of coping is being by myself. When I'm around others I find I can get a little tense sometimes but largely I feel ok. Sitting at home, trapped in the cell that is my room, the horrors close in.
I suppose I should explain about the horrors. Except I can't. I can find no other way of explaining what I go through. I could say "yawning abyss of aching despair" (to steal a phrase from a friend), but that sounds a bit melodramatic and clumsy. Certainly the word depression is far too mild for anyone who's never been through this to ever understand. So I'll just call it the horrors and we'll leave it there.
At this moment I'm trying desperately to organise my afternoon to keep the horrors at bay. If I time it right I can leave the house, walk for a few miles, buy a paper, and sit in a pub to read it. Then catch a bus and end up at a friends house for the evening. Unfortunately that leaves me with a couple of hours to kill until then. And that's why I decided to start this.
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Well I went for a walk but it was far too cold for what i had planned. Fortunately this afternoon has been a pretty good one. I can feel the horrors lurking though. Hopefully I can get out this evening before they get too bad.
There will be home made cookies and cakes at P&P's tonight!
(posting from my blogger account, not my LJ one)
What's with the constant word verification? I'm logged in now, yet it keeps asking for a seven letter potion of post posting...
That shouldn't be happening. I'll go check the settings.
Ok I've made a couple of changes. Should be no more problems.
Yaay!
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