Above my bed hangs a wakazashi, a Christmas present from years ago. It's a very sharp Japanese short sword. Every morning I have the urge to draw it and slide it across the top of my leg. Just to get myself going.
Lying in bed I can also see 4 bottles of whisky (assorted xmas/birthday prezzies) on top of the wardrobe. A couple of drinks would dull the pain and set me up for the day.
I do neither of these things, compelling as they are to me. Instead I'm writing this. I can't tell you how glad I am I started this blog. Painful as it is to open up, at least it's just words. Because of this I don't have to cut myself or punish my liver.
This morning I'm not doing too badly anyway. I can still feel last nights drinking washing around my system, maybe that's why. The acid test will be whether I can motivate myself to actually do anything today or end up lying around wallowing in self pity. Again.
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