Somehow got my act together to go visit my stepmother in hospital today. She's doing well and should be home for the weekend. They don't think the cancer has spread but we should know for sure next week.
Went for a wander into Birmingham after. Bumped into Phil on his way home and met up with Dave for a coffee. I was doing a fair impersonation of myself. Phil even commented on how well I was looking. It's a bizarre duality to experience. On one hand you are all smiles and sunlight, but part of you is dark and dying.
Sitting at home now with an hour to kill before I go out, I can feel my grip slipping again. Writing this now just to give me something to do, something to focus on. Tonight I don't have to drive so I intend to get a little drunk. Shouldn't really mix alcohol and anti depressants (especially the quantity I'm taking at the moment) but what the hell. I need it.
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