Fluoxetine is the anti depressant I am on which is basically Prozac. Before I went out tonight I googled fluoxetine overdose. If you survive an overdose the permanent effects look nasty. I didn't think I was feeling particularly suicidal and I wasn't really sure why I was looking that up. I doubt I'll try it though. No one seems even sure what the lethal dose is.
I think I'm in trouble folks. It was a struggle to drag myself out tonight with my father and brother. A few drinks certainly dulled the pain and I even quite enjoyed the evening in a strange kind of way. But underneath the alcohol I can feel myself falling apart again. Maybe the fact that I have to go into Birmingham tomorrow will help keep me focused. Maybe I'll feel ok in the morning anyway. But deep down I know I'm in trouble. Don't know how I'm going to get through the night.
When I saw the doc yesterday he offered me the option of seeing a psychiatrist and being sectioned. If things get as bad as I fear again I may have to take up that option.
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