Had a pretty good morning today. Went to the pub with my brother in the afternoon but started to sink a bit. Largely due to tiredness I think. Went to sleep afterwards then had a little weep.
Made myself go out this evening. Couldn't bear to have another night on my own. Had to leave early because i was getting edgy but did genuinely enjoy myself. I need to keep pushing myself like that. It shows me that perhaps I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.
Feeling utterly spent now. Could easily lie down and cry my heart out. Won't do it though. I need to get used to doing things on my own again. There have been and will be again times when the people that I rely on won't be able to be there for me. I have to find a way to cope at those times. And I think I see the first signs that I'm beginning to manage it.
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